Can't sleep - forming addiction

Its 12:23 and I can not sleep.


I am listening to a mix of songs from the Barbie Pool Party CD and then songs by Ne-yo and Mariah Carey.


One of the songs on my fun playlist includes S Club 7. Yeah and I am not afraid to admit that! I am quite proud actually! One of them was called Hannah, of course I love it!


I find it weird how certain songs bring back certain memories or are significant to the relationships, past and present.


Anything S Club 7 or Five is connected to my gorgeous girlfriend's Chloe and Melanie. Yes we do drive to the beach in summer, cruising in our bikinis blaring "If ya gettin down". We are gorgeous girls, we can get away with it!

When it comes to my best and oldest friend, Becca June, it is unfortunately anything Rock Eisteddford based and the stereotypical dance recital crap! I am a sports girl. Bee is a dancer and a damn good one at that. But I swear, this better be the last year of dance concerts!

I have gone and supported for years and I honestly love watching her dance. Bee is talented like no other and honestly makes me tear up when I watch her. But if i have to sit through another 12 year old who is being forced into singing lessons or group of kids who are so scared on stage that they freeze and cry I will personally sit in the audience and cry louder than them!

I do have fond music memories with Bee. Like working in the swamp. Cranking AJAX in LuLu Liberty with Buchanan. Rocking our waders and being inappropriate with the guys in the bush. We were little ravers for that week, flirtatious little bush girls!

I love those memorable songs!

I can be summed up in a genre.

I review all genres. My internship at Australian Internet Radio allows me to taste the finest of Australian music from all spectrums. I appreciate everything considering I can acknowledge the talent and skill it takes.

but me in a music genre - RNB

My friends know me as the Aussie Hip Hop girl. I do love a good night out at the pub with a casual gig at the G-spot as we call it but I live in Katoomba, that's about the only option we have! We are a town of Aussie Hip Hoppers.

If they welcomed the likes of Usher, Ne-yo, Mariah, Boyz II Men (weakness) into Katoomba then I think I would scare some people who think they 'know' me!

I definitely don't look like it but I am. 

My weakness is the music you need someone to dance with. Just clearing that point up by the way, I mean dance not grind with someone.

One of my favourite songs ever is Foolish by Ashanti (possibly my favourite female artist).

This song sums me up perfectly and is the reason I currently don't have the specific someone to dance with.

This song sums me up for the last five weeks. 

I have been a royal mess and have sunk myself into a hole.

Consequently, this song will forever be my memory of Taylor James Ensbey.

He was the best, he was my everything (he still is). He thinks I hate him and he hates me.

Little does he know that I don't hate him, I don't love him, but I do and will always care about him more than anything. It hurts the most when you know someone is miss using their potential.

There is no other way to put it other than I was foolish and I should have realised he wanted to be someone different to who he was with me.

I wish him all the best, and I hope no one prevents him being insanely good at whatever he chooses because you know what, he is going to make a mark on this world! I know it!

For all the memories we have and all the songs that I can tie to those memories, Foolish is the only one that matters. I wish neither of us was foolish enough to fall in love with the other. 

This may seem like a stupid and pointless 20 year old attention seeking blog but you know what, I need to do this. I'm not saying this will be the last, I'm actually guaranteeing it won't be but the others will be cheerier. The others, with time will see the light at the end of the tunnel.

This blog however does not see the light, merely the desire to have a friend back. 

I remember music and specific songs. It lives on and sticks round...much like my philosophy on what a friend is.

I stick round and I don't ditch friends...ever. I will always be there just like the memories and the tunes!